EXECUTIVE MEMO
EPA's Space Aliens
fficials at the Boston regional office of the Environmental Protection Agency have been chuckling over a late Septem-ber item that ran in The Conway (N.H.) Daily Sun.
Under the deadpan headline, "Conspiracy, coverups hide alien presence in Conway," the paper ran a letter from Jane Malcomb of nearby North Conway that accuses the EPA (along with the National Security Agency and the Navy SEALs) of pretending to manage a toxic waste site while actually monitoring an underground alien colony.
In the letter, the amiable but resolute Malcolm explains that Kearsarge Metallurgical Co. was a phony company that did not, contrary to official history, pollute Pequaket Pond with radioactive isotopes in the process of manufacturing parts for nuclear reactors. Rather, "THEY WERE ORDERED to dump the isotopes into the pond by the NSA in the hopes of luring certain aliens (not all aliens are alike, you know) to the pond."
The EPA, she continued, entered the picture after a Navy SEALs unit disappeared into the pond on a reconnaissance mission. The EPA's extensive monitoring regime, she said, was intended to keep tabs on the growing underground colony.
If it's true, many will probably agree with Malcomb's concluding assessment: "The Conway Village Chamber of Commerce now has something different to market to tourists, something that's potentially the story of the century."
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